Victory Over Loss and Anger

It had been the worst year in her life -- a year since Kathy's husband had suddenly died in an automobile accident leaving her full of grief, anger, bitterness, turmoil. At first she couldn't believe her husband had died. Then when she did accept it, she felt angry -- angry at the drunken truck driver who had caused David's death, angry at God for letting it happen. Then she had felt guilty. "Why wasn't I more loving toward David when he was alive?" she accused herself.

Grieving set in, and for some reason she couldn't cry. She would just get the children off to school and sit there like a zombie, staring off into space. "God," she exclaimed angrily one day, "how could you have let this happen? David was such a good man, a good father! Now my children are fatherless and I'm alone. It's not fair!"

Kathy went on with the routine of living, but the anger, bitterness, and depression sat like a heavy burden on her. She resigned her position as Sunday school teacher and dropped out of church completely.

Her pastor came to see her, but she was almost rude to him. Seeing he couldn't talk to her, he finally said, "Well, Kathy, we miss you, and we'll be praying for you." Christian friends called and she brushed them off in similar fashion.

Kathy was troubled by the drop in her children's report card marks. They didn't seem very happy either. She began to realize she would have to pull herself together for their sakes.

Then one day, Kathy went out for lunch with a Christian co-worker. As they talked, she shared with Anne what she had been suffering. "I went through all that, too," Anne said, "when my husband left me for another woman. But I finally got tired of feeling sorry for myself and being full of turmoil. I finally decided to 'let go and let God' -- to really trust him with my life and realize that he could work all things together for my good! I forgave Jerry. I forgave myself. And for the first time in a long time, I experienced real peace!"

When Kathy got home that day, she fell to her knees and followed Anne's example -- and she too found peace and meaning for her life. It wasn't easy. It was a commitment she had to make again and again, but turning things over to God, really trusting him with her life, was more than just a slogan; it was the way back to life again.

***

Quite often when we feel that we have dealt with our grief over loss -- that we have turned it over the Lord -- we can be hit by reoccurrences that get us down. After all, we are all only human, and it is easy to backslide into feeling depressed and very sorry for ourselves because of our losses. We quite making that daily commitment to trust God and focus on the future. So how do we climb out of the pit again? Here are some suggestions.

All those old feelings coming back make you feel sorry for yourself again. This in turn depresses you -- may even make you angry again too. The Bible tells us not to fret -- to sit around and worry and stew and make ourselves anxious (Psalm 37:1). Why? Because fretting brings us back to square one -- doubting God and making ourselves miserable. Stop looking inward, and go back to looking upward!

Go back to the source of your first victory over grief and anger -- the Lord. He is still there for you. He loves you. He hasn't left you -- you have left Him! Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavily laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). When you bring that burden to Him, leave it with Him! It works for me every time I really do that!

Those old feelings revive something else in us -- remorse about our own shortcomings, blaming others and God, too. So we must forgive ourselves and others, and trust in God again.

Rejoice in the Lord. Rejoicing in the Lord lifts our spirits, draws us back to Him by thankfulness, reminds us of how much better it is to look forward than backward (Philippians 4:4-9). Again, look up!

-Muriel Larson.

http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200705/20070503_victoryoverloss.html

(c) 1996-2006, Heartlight, Inc.

Let God

In a small, neglected garden,

Where flowers used to grow,

A weather beaten birdhouse

Shelters sparrows from the snow.

They greet the sun at dawning

With sprightliness and song,

Cheerful, uncomplaining

As the day is long.

In time of tribulation,

Whatever our lot might be,

Let God lift up the burden,

From heartache set you free;

And like the little sparrow

Find solace and release,

With song and prayer at dawning,

Enfolded in God's peace.

-Elsie Natalie Brady

Letting Go

Letting Go as performed by Jay Arzobal

I used to feel the emptiness inside me
I was not supposed to feel that way
I had everything I needed
But nothing ever made me
What I longed to be
The wealth, the name
The lights, the fame
Were everything to me

And then one night
Out of the blue
I heard His name (Jesus)
And so I took that step of faith
And walked into His domain
I believe that's what He wants
Every heart to do

When hard may seem the task
One step is all He asks of you

Letting go to know the truth
Is not so hard to do
It's the heart that's got the will
To open up for Him to fill
And trusting and believing Him
Is all we've got to do
It's just the heart that's got to move
For Him to show His love that's been there
Even when we never cared
Take hold of His hand
Let go and you'll understand

Why be afraid
For God knows what you're feeling
But even He can't do a thing
If He sees the heart's not willing
And so we ask what's going on
We want what's right and still do wrong

When hard may seem the task
One step is all He asks of you

I guess by now you'd realize
You can't be on your own
And all your cares
And all your burdens
Should be cast upon His throne
Letting go, just let go

Letting go to know the truth
Is not so hard to do
It's the heart that's got the will
To open up for Him to fill
And trusting and believing Him
Is all we've got to do
It's just the heart that's got to move
For Him to show His love that's been there
Even when we never cared
Take hold of His hand
Let go and you'll understand

Let go and you'll understand
Just let go and you'll understand

MARRIAGE IS THE CLOSEST KIND OF FRIENDSHIP

Marriage is the closest kind of friendship.

Years of traffic wear away the lines

Between two souls with similar designs,

Ending more in unity than kinship.

Separate actors must play separate parts:

They must alone be riveted by need.

Far beneath that soil a single seed

Roots itself, tenacious in their hearts.

In love there is a trust beyond the word.

Each finds peace in each, as though the light

Needed the tranquility of night,

Deeper than what silence can be heard.

DON'T HOPE, FRIEND... DECIDE!

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about. You know, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly? Well, this one occurred a mere two feet away from me! Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jetway, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First, he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, and movingly loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, diverted his eyes, and replied softly, "Me too, Dad!"

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe 9) and while cupping his son's face in his hands he said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. His son said nothing. No reply was necessary.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one and a half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi babygirl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder and remained motionless in total pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then quietly said, "I love you so much!". They stared into each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant, they reminded me of newlyweds but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't be. I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?"

"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those." he replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face.

"Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile and told me, "Two whole days!"

Two days?! I was stunned! I was certain by the intensity of the greeting I just witnessed that he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months, and I know my expression betrayed me. So, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"

The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with an intensity that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope friend...decide." Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!". With that, he and his family turned and energetically strode away together.

I was still watching that special man and his exceptional family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?" Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"

- Michael D. Hargrove

I Can Show Love While I live

I gave away a smile today

Was easy to do - just on my way

But then I was startled- I began to see,

All these people smiling back at me!

I gave to a friend a word of hope and just when I felt fretted,

and started to mope

A gentle word encouraged my heart

And the gloom faded and began to depart

So I began to notice

What was written was true!

Give in good measure,

And it is given back to you!

So even without wealth- I am able to give!

I can show others to Jesus I can show LOVE while I live!

- Karen Norman

Help Somebody

It was a cold winter's day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church.

As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost laying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you couldn't see his face.

He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet, with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless, and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the Church.

We all enjoy fellowship for a few minutes, and then someone brought up the man who was laying outside. People snickered and gossiped, but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me. A few moments later church began. We all waited for the Preacher to take his place, and to give us The Word, when the doors to the church opened. In came the homeless man, walking down the aisle with his head down.

People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up onto thepulpit. When he took off his hat and coat my heart sank. There stood our preacher... he was the "homeless man."

No one said a word... the room was silent and still.

Then the preacher took his Bible and laid it on the stand.

"Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I'm preaching about today." Then he started singing the words to this song...

"If I can help somebody as I pass along,
If I can cheer somebody with a word or song,
If I can show somebody that he's traveling wrong,
Then my living shall not be in vain."